Whom do I kill to become a Hero

Be it Nana Patekar's Krantiveer or Lord of the Rings, be it Ramayan or Mahabharat. Be it Chota Bheem or Harry Potter.  A Hero is emerges only by killing a Villain. Without a Villain a Hero cannot exist.

Why is it necessary that someone has to die or be killed to make someone else a Hero? We have an answer to this question "The Evil must die". There is a bad guy and the bad guy will be killed by the good guy and everyone will live happily ever after. And who decides what is good and what is bad? Who is right and who is wrong?

There is a kid living in a slum, he reached the slum because his father got killed by some Bad Guys. He grows up with that hatred in his heart and mind that he has to take revenge. He takes a "wrong" path, he too becomes a bad guy so that he can reach The Bad Guy. Finally he takes revenge and he becomes a Hero.

Some Bad Guys are teasing a girl, another guy comes and beats up all these bad guys and he becomes the Hero.

Chota Bheem has to beat up or kill some or the other devil in each episode, else he will loose his charm and he might not be the favorite cartoon of kids.

Is it my mind that is looking at everything in this way, I must have a negative approach. There must be some sub conscious section of my mind which wants the violence. Is it that violence that gives me a kick and the one who does that becomes my Hero? Is it my animal instinct that loves that violence and the color of blood? But if that is true, why dont I enjoy news of the Riots, Massacres, Wars, Killings, Terrorist attacks?

No it cannot be the violence, else I would have loved these news on the TV everyday. So what is it then? Perhaps this is just the half part, there is no concluding part where there is another guy who comes in and kills these bad guys and then I will be contended. Yes, I think that is what I am waiting for - some good guy to come and finish it all up with the final blow of violence.

Our childhood stories were different, with far less violence, Nandan, Champak, Chintu Pintu, Panchatantra. Then why did I start liking these things, what is pumping in so much of hatred in me? Is it the polluted air that I breath in, or the food I eat. Or is it that I never clean up my soul and mind that gets polluted with loads of tension and stress and to kill/suppress that I need a higher dosage of poison?

I hope someday soon, I will be able to cleanse my soul and mind and my Hero will come to existence without killing a villain. 

Beautiful like a Princess

We often hear stories that start something like "Once upon a time, there was a poor girl who was beautiful like a princess". Princess is the daughter of a king, why is it that the daughter of King should always be beautiful??? because she is rich? Why a princess always has to be beautiful?

Somewhere in our sub conscious mind it is deep rooted that anything good has to be physically beautiful and any ugly thing is bad or ugly even represents evil. I know most of you will disagree but I will urge all of you to sit back and think. Be it the bed time stories of kids, cartoons, movies.

This is something which we have inherited, it is rooted deep into our minds and this gives birth to a lot of evil. Due to this evil, we hurt so many souls unknowingly everyday and make many souls feel miserable.

When I was in junior section, one of my best friend, two year younger, who was an excellent, outstanding person - she was the best in studies, painting, dance, singing. People said she sang like Lata Mangeskar. She was making a painting which was like WOW, at that time I could hardly hold the brush properly.  I mean I made classical paintings but that looked like modern art ;). I was really amazed at her painting and I said when you take it to school tomorrow maam is really going to like this and she will love you so much. She continued painting without giving any expression, in fact I could see some pain in her eyes.

I asked what happened, you dont like your painting? I can still remember her answer and the amount of pain that was there in her voice. She was like 5 years old, and she could sense that. She said, I am so dark na, so people dont like me that much. My maam will surely praise and will give me 1st prize but she loves other kids who are beautiful. Just the color of skin makes so much of difference that we make a small kid feel miserable. From that early stage in life, we start killing their self respect, we make their life so difficult. We make them feel miserable at every step of life. The school she was in, was the best school of the city and a very reputable institution for decades, where special precautions are taken so that all kids are treated equally - then what goes wrong???

Is it the same story of a "beautiful LIKE PRINCESS"? Why are we so obsessed with the physical beauty in ALL aspects of our life. I see this kind of discrimination everyday everywhere; in and around me. Most of it is committed by people even without knowing it. Something has to change, our stories have to start with "_______"?. Let us not tell our kids the story where the focus is on the physical appearance. The stories should have strong focus on Karma and the inner beauty. Hero need NOT be handsome, hero should be a GOOD person with a kind, loving, compassionate, golden heart.

Let us change this world, this is not going to cost anything - not even time. If you are not sensitive, you are not human.

Why am I so helpless - I cant even find an answer to a question???

People often say, we should not give anything to the beggars and I know it is for a long term betterment and that we should discourage such things, there are rackets operating behind the scene and its a business for them etc etc etc.... All of this is true and I fully agree to it BUT as a human being when you see a very small kid with his stomach touching his back, way behind the ribs, what should you do???

Long back, I was walking with one of my friends and we had big yummy ice creams in our hand. There was a little girl who started coming behind us, and seeing some expressions on my face, my friend immediately instructed me not to give her anything and that we should not promote begging. I agreed to her and we kept walking and the little girl kept following us with a hope in her eyes. She was begging, holding our hands, pulling our clothes but we kept ignoring and saying no to her. Finally after a few minutes, I ended up giving my ice cream to her which was already half and melted by then.

I ignited the moral police in my friend with this, and she had to explain to me, what I have done, what is the impact of it and why I should not have done that. I could not find a single point in that discussion/speech which was wrong or to which I or anyone could disagree. And I was the culprit behind who was creating the beggars which not only destroys the life of those poor kids but also makes the city dirty and when a foreigner comes to India, gets a bad picture of our country. And the only way to curb this is by discouraging my act - or at least that is the starting point.

While all this was happening, I noticed she dumped almost 3/4th of her ice cream into a dustbin (basically a pile of garbage over once existing dustbin). You know the size of ice creams that we get in the Malls, no one can eat a full ice cream, unless you plan to eat one as your lunch or dinner ;)

After that incident, I do not think I ever gave anything to a beggar. Although every time I pass by, I am confused, was it right or wrong? People say, if you have to do something for them, go through a proper channel. There are so many institutions and you can make a donation to any of them. But figures show that many of those institutions are run by big people and is mostly on paper. There was a survey by NABARD or some such institution and my home district had topped the list with over 850 fake NGOs eating up the entire 100% of fundings they managed to get from individuals and organizations world wide. So even this way we are promoting some or the other rackets.

Further although I think I have to but I hardly donate to any of the institutions, in my entire life, I remember to contribute less than 5 times. I am sure all others must be making contributions on a regular basis and at least some percentage of it must be getting used properly.

I will still be looking for some help or an answer to what I have been pondering over from years. Ignoring, turning off your face, or pretending that they do not exist is definitely a social failure. I believe there are a lot of people like me, who are capable, want to BUT are not able to make donations to charitable trusts and at the same time are always struggling to find an answer to "What do we do when we see someone in that pathetic state"?

Monkey is the only Passionate Animal - Do you agree?

I am sorry but I find it ridiculous when people say you should make your career into the domain you are passionate about... what we do for living cannot always fit into the vertical of passion....

Lets be practical... some of my friends here ... who are loan sanction officers at banks.... they are told NOT to give loan to someone pursuing his/her passion and to give loan only to business that has a certainty to bring back the money, the more boring the better.

When someone asked me about my passion... I was like... err ... grrr... ummm... I couldn't find one... I felt I had passion for multiple things and I was afraid, as soon as I would say the 2nd thing, people will either interrupt me or laugh at me - you have to have ONE passion. else you are not passionate about anything. In my college, one day one of my professor got annoyed with us. He was a great scholar, had done a couple of PhEds apart from all other studies from the MIT and other prestigious institutions. He believed that all the students of our college were not only duffers but also without any passion. He started asking everyone one by one "What is your passion" and with every answer he would fire a question which would prove that he/she is lying. I remember one of my friends who had received a national award in Sitar a few days back got lashed because he said music is his passion and the question followed - which music - the answer was Jal Tarang and the next question was whom do u listen to and he out of nervousness said "Pundit Bhimsen Joshi". And that was it, he was lashed like anything.

I was praying that he doesn't point at me next and you know it works, when you try to avoid something it surely comes to you and bang I was in the spot light. I was anyways confused on this from the time I was 5, whenever people asked me what do you want to be or what is your passion and I never had less than 6,7,8 things in my mind. I had to give an answer and I thought the best is to say I do not have one thing that I can say I am passionate about. Oh man, I committed a blunder. This is the answer he was looking for. and he said, see this is the problem with you guys. You are not passionate about anything. Its okay you do not like engineering papers, but you must have a passion. If you do not have passion, either you are ZERO or your are Paramhans (teacher of Swami Vivekanand who knew everything). And the next question to me was, so what are you? Paramhans or ZERO? I did not have an option to skip the question and I had to say, I definitely know I am not Paramhans and ZERO being the only other option, I should fall into that.

As per him, I was a ZERO good for nothing, but I think I am the zero which increases the value of anything 10 times with each appearance and that the zero can go with anything and everything. Yes, I think I can adjust to & with anything/anyone and everything/everyone. Let us help others understand that there are people in this world like me, who are different, they are not the best but they definitely are not worthless.

I do not believe to the theory that passion is a must to excel. Do you think the the best glass cleaner of your city is best because he has a passion to hang on a rope and clean glasses the whole day??? Or the sweeper in your company who keeps your office neat and clean has a passion towards cleanliness - I do not think so. He/She has to do it to earn the livelihood and being best in that is again to keep his job safe and that he/she thinks its what he/she is getting paid for so lets do it in the best possible way.

I am from a family of engineers, if someone is unable to do anything in life, he/she will default to being an engineer. I wanted to be anything BUT an engineer but I ended up being one. I am definitely not passionate about what I am doing but does that mean I cannot excel in it? I have proved to be, at least one of the best in what I am doing, if not the best. I have a list of accolades, awards, rewards and appreciation which speaks in favor of my claim.

I cant remember the name of ONE Car that I love and I wish I had. I do not remember the name of one Hollywood actor (not that I have seen more than 10 english movies in my whole life). I am not able to remember the name of those 5 movies that I loved most and I can watch n number of times. I do not know the names of different wines and types and which is sweet and what is devils share and which one is made in wooden barrels. I always get confused if its Principal or Principle. I do not know the difference between Thai and Chinese food. I cant sing more than 2 lines of any song, I just cant remember songs. I am not able to remember the names of places I have been for vacations. I can remember faces but I am so bad at remembering names and numbers. I haven't read many books, I do not like reading. I cannot stick to one passion. I develop passion for new things, learn that, do that and then I start feeling bored of it. I develop passion for new thing, entirely different from the previous one. Does this make me insane? in-consistent? erratic? unstable? One who cannot be trusted to complete a job???

Doing something; something with perfection or with your mind and soul into it and making it happen should not be tied to being passionate about it. I am not saying it should not be or could not be, but if it is, it might be a mere coincidence. Let us understand that there are different types of people in this world let us NOT force everyone into street. I remember a cartoon on some social media, where an examiner is sitting below a tree and different animals are taking the test. The examiner says I am not going to favor anyone, rules are same for everyone and there will be no relaxation. Now the test is everyone has to climb the tree :) :) :) . This way you will always prove that the Monkey is the Best. Are we doing that ;)

Passion is not a Job, a Sport or a Hobby. Do not be obsessed with passion, you might miss out some great opportunities.

Are we developing a culture of growing emptiness inside us?

A cool dude with a real happening life, partying almost every night, having the latest gadgets some of them not even in the open market yet. One who is seen in a new car every 6 months. Man .... such a cool life he has. Music, Money, Dance, Party what else do you need in life. Everyone wants that kind of life isn't it? Yes I and many of us are running behind that.

I started with a job paying me just 2.5K, the work was great and exactly what I wanted - the Robotics but I switched in a matter of few days and got into a bigger and better company. Bigger and better not in terms of where I wanted to work but in terms of salary and perks that they had and the building they operated out of and the location of the office. Yes that was the beginning of digging my soul - not to find the treasure inside BUT to make make myself hollow.

Now I had a good salary almost 10 times of my previous company, and the office was located in one of the best locations of Bangalore right opposite to Christ College and almost next to The Forum Mall. Free transportation, free meals and beverages, gift on festivals, trainings, professional memberships, certification reimbursements, insurance even for parents - Man what else do you need. I was so happy that I forgot what I wanted rather I killed my dreams or I should say the feeling of having that flashy lifestyle strangled my dreams which could have given me happiness.

And in less than an year, another switch and yet again for the same purpose a better salary and this continued. With each jump I got a better salary and I compromised on my dreams, in terms of the kind of work, the place, the people and everything. I kept digging myself hollow, consoling myself that I am growing and getting better and better - is that the reality? Was I not aware? Why am I so weak that I cannot get out of this Rat Race? What am I trying to achieve? What will that extra money buy me? I do not have an answer to any of these questions but still I have a strong urge to earn more and more.

I have lived almost half my life and will be working/earning for another 20 years or so. What is it that I will have after 20 years - a comfortable house to live in which you cannot call home because it will be just 2 old people living there with noone even to talk to? Some money to buy groceries and medicine and probably a nice expensive car, similar to the one that I wanted since I was a kid. Again to no use as I wont have enough energy and excitement to take that car out.

Wasn't my pervious generation much better? They have all that I will have, just that I might get a version 2.0 of the same things, an upgrade; but they have people to talk to, they have a life, even though their kids "I" have almost abandoned them but they are still human beings and look at what I have done to myself. I am no more than a Robot. I am programmed, I need an organizer for every activity I do. I set reminders even to buy flowers for my loved ones. And those flowers are virtual in many cases, even though I might be in the same city and sometimes in the same locality/apartment as my loved one.

I do not have time for my family and friends, I am so busy that I make FB and Whatsapp groups and then forward a "Happy New Year" message to all the groups and I am done. I do not even pick up the phone to call my friends (not that it costs me) just that I have programmed myself, the human factor that I had is dug up hollow. I do everything either because I have to do it, or I think that is a right thing to do or to create a perception on social media that I am happy and happening. I try to measure my happiness and success with the number of likes and comments on my posts. I do not bother to meet someone and see how they feel when I am with them. I do not do anything for myself or anything that makes me happy.

What have I done to my creativity, what have I done to my feelings and emotions, what have I done to my dreams? What have I done to Myself? and is it just me or this is all the people in my generation?

I am Fine :)

“I am Fine” - one of the most common lie that we all say almost everyday. This lie is almost always present in the 4 lies a common person says in a day, or 1460 in a year and by the time we reach 60, the number becomes 88000.

And these are small, generally harmless lies which oils the wheels of almost all human relationship, most of the times with a good and positive motive.

We have a horrible habit of answering “I am Fine” whenever someone asks us “How are you doing”. Infact it is a reflex action, not even an answer. And this is an acquired reflex action which has been pumped into us from the time we are born “When someone asks you HOW ARE YOU DOING — you should say “I AM FINE””. Are we teaching our kids to lie?

Or we are teaching them to hide the real emotions and feelings we have; from the people around us? We all build a little bubble around us and we are afraid of letting anyone inside that bubble. The outer surface of the bubble should always look shiny and bubbly however turbulent you are inside. Is this the reason the whole society is under so much stress? All our modern communication mechanism helps us build and maintain that bubble even more.

Even if the person is next to jumping off cliff, his/her FB timeline and even a FT call will show that their life is so happening and rocking and that they are the happiest person on the earth. We are so proud of living VIRTUALLY, Virtual is the reality of today and the reality has become virtual.

What to choose?

Most of us want to be law abiding (Legal), Logical, Ethical and Emotional (Human). Unfortunately, most of the times; in real life all these things are mutually exclusive. How to decide when to choose what?